Tuma lets his inner two year old out....

It turns out he can do more than just cry! We met this child over three weeks ago, and have seen him every day for the last 2 ½ weeks. Strike that. We have seen him cry every day for the last 2 ½ weeks. And finally, yesterday, he decided it was OK to eat a cookie from us. And drink a bottle. And play. And laugh a little. Just a little though. But SO much better than before! Maybe we just wore him down. I am really glad that we had this extra time, even though it’s been tough. If we were trying to bring him home to the flat with us now (which we would have been if the bonding period had started when we first met him), it would be really tough. As it is, he doesn’t want me more than a foot away from him most of the time. If we walk across the room to pick up the ball, I have to go with him and hold his hand. He is a child who is really in need of someone to attach to. The orphanage workers tell us he is a ‘sensitive’ child. We are OK with that, we already have one of those!

He no longer cries when I or someone else refers to me as ‘mama’. He is interested in our toys, what we have in our ‘green bag of tricks’ as Bruce has dubbed it. Today he took everything out of it, and tried it all out. Between toys, he ate. Cookies, crackers, chocolate. It was all good. He likes to share, so eating a cookie involves him taking a bite, and me pretending to take a bite while avoiding the slimy part he just took a bite from. He is really digging the bottle. I was worried about what’s known as the ‘suck-swallow reflex’, which can be problematic for orphanage babies. He was sort of slurping on his bottle, but today I showed him how to open his mouth BIG and stick the bottle in. He got it right away, and the rest of the apple juice was gone in about 5 seconds flat. He likes to stick his thumb in his mouth, so it seemed like he would be a natural for the bottle. I think the caregivers think we are crazy. Why would you take a 2 year old who has been weaned from the bottle so long ago they can’t remember what to do with one, and put him BACK on the bottle? Well, because it helps to build attachment as he gets the nuturing he missed out on in the beginning. Partly through eye contact, as it’s hard for babies to miss looking at whomever is doing the feeding! So, this is a big step. It’s all big steps for the little guy. But there are definitely signs of life in there Whoopee!

Bruce got a little papa time when we arrived the other day and Tuma was clearly sick. He had a fever, and generally felt lousy, it was obvious. This vignette reminded me of many days/nights when Jaden was a baby. Bruce still falls asleep with Jaden if he lies down with him at night! Anyway, on that front things are much, much better here. Another American family arrives in about 10 days to adopt a little girl, and they will be in the apartment next door. So it will be nice to have some diversion.

Jaden has been hanging in there, but is crazy homesick. He talks all day about the things he misses and the things he's going to do when he gets home. We got online the other day and ordered 'Monopoly Jr' from Amazon to make him feel better. It will be waiting for him when he gets home I told him. He is not having a bad time here though, and has made some new friends. He goes outside and plays 'Monkey in the middle' with them in the mud. The entire conversation consists of 'Who monkey?', 'XXX monkey!', and 'Pass, pass!' They have a great time. Most of the kids are 10-12 years old, and they are all the same size as Jaden. It's amazing. It was several days before they realized Jaden was boy. When one of them referred to him as 'our girl' in Russian, I corrected him and said, "No, our boy." His eyes nearly flew out of his head. Some of them want to practice their English with us. They all study English starting in the 5th grade. It is cute, but doesn't get to far conversationally.

That's about it for now. As usual, we will keep you posted!