Loved Ones

I don’t know where to begin. I’ve never written anything as personal as this blog has turned out to be for Lynne, Jaden and I, not even in a journal of any type. Now I feel compelled to continue to express some of what’s going on in my life.

The reality of a new son is drawing near, but still so far. Yesterday, Tuma let me hold him, he laughed with me, he stared back at me, showing no signs that he wasn’t going to love me soon. He obviously is feeling more comfortable with me, he even peed on me, which I believe is the true sign of letting it all go. He’s only peed twice while with us, the first time was the day he really began to connect with Lynne and then yesterday. It’s so obvious to us now that Tuma is going to be fine. He smiles brightly and has a playful spirit. When he gets to Boulder he will continue to improve exponentially, his future is bright, and it’s almost like he starts to see it.

But still we have so far to go, as we have the new hurdle to jump over. The judge has found his birthmother, grandmother and SISTER (9 years old). (Will he ever meet his sister? We would be in favor of that when the time is right, his mother too, but not for years…). They are in Astana, which is the capital city of Kazakhstan, the city that is a 15 hour train ride away. This is the city we have to go through to take him home. Our adoption coordinator is trying desperately to find his birth mother and have her sign (another) petition that states that she wants to see Tuma adopted. We should know more in days, or hours… The paperwork saga continues and we are amazed at what’s going on in the background. (If I tell the whole story I would have to swear you all to secrecy and I don’t even know who you all are). The papers we need from the states are with DHL and we have tracked them in Brussels as of 3am today, due to arrive in Astana on Saturday where they get to take the train ride to get to us on Sunday so we can have our court hearing on Monday. If all goes well, Jaden and I leave on Wednesday from Arkalyk to Astana. Then on Thursday we fly from Astana to Almaty, and then on Friday at 3am (yes am) we fly to London, and catch a flight from London at 3:30pm to Chicago, and then on to Denver for a 9:40pm arrival. It will be so bittersweet to be home, without Lynne and Tuma. Lynne has another 30 days or so in front of her, mostly here in Arkalyk, and then 3-5 days in Almaty.

As Lynne wrote in her last post, my oldest friend’s father passed away this week. Len was buried in Philadelphia yesterday. I wish I was there. He is in now in peace at the same cemetery as my dear mother and sister, may they all rest in peace. Len was one of my earliest sports mentors. You who know me know my passion for sports, all sports, playing sports and watching sports (unfortunately more watching these days then playing). Len had season tickets to the Philadelphia Eagles games, and when one of his friends couldn’t make it, I often got the call as his sons weren’t as into football as I was. I have vivid memories of Franklin field on freezing cold Sundays drinking hot chocolate and watching Roman Gabriel try to lead the Eagles out of the basement that they often dwelled in. Then, in the summer, our families spent a few summers together in the Pocono “Mountains”. Len would always ask me to go check on the Phillies scores and report back while he and his wife and my parents played bridge or whatever their activity of the evening was. This was the early 70’s, so again, it was fruitless, the Phillies were terrible, but we always held out hope, kind of like Rockies fans these days, although I think most of us have given up on that…but hey, I hear the Nuggets are actually on a hot streak, and remember how terrible they were just a few years ago? Len was a kind, gentle man, with a big smile and great laugh. He will be sorely missed by his family that now has roots in Vermont, California and Australia as well as the Philadelphia area.

Today I learned that my aunt Adrienne passed away. First I hear about Len via an Instant Message, then I hear about my aunt via email. Adrienne was my mother’s only sister, her only sibling. She had been sick for a few weeks and in bad shape, so this was not a shock, but it hurts, it really hurts not to be there with my cousin and the rest of the family. I am saying this publicly – Jeff – it will be hard for me to come visit you as soon as we get home. You need some time for yourself, come to Boulder. You’ve been promising me for years. We’ll bike all over town, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll make each other feel better.

I have one story I want to share about Aunt Adrienne that will help to capture this wonderful woman. When I was about 8 years old or so, my parents went on a vacation and Adrienne and my cousin Jeff came with us to stay for the week. I was a rascally kid and when Adrienne said it was time for me to do something, I never made it easy for her. She asked me to take a shower, and of course I said “No!” After a few rounds, she threatened to pour chocolate syrup on my head. Of course I dared her to, never believing she would. And of course, I wouldn’t be telling you this story if she didn’t. She always made us laugh. She always made everyone around her laugh. Adrienne and my mom would laugh together for hours, I usually didn’t know what they were laughing about, they just loved life and I loved them.

My Aunt Adrienne was one of my favorite people in the whole world for most of my life. Why didn’t I see her more often, or speak to her more often? But won’t we always think that about our favorite relatives that live far away? Phone calls are almost free, emails are free, it’s the time that’s the problem. But what is time for if not to stay in touch with our loved ones?

I am very sad today.

Peace,

Bruce