They Really Do Eat Horse Meat

Today (well, yesterday by now) is Naurez, the biggest holiday of the year. It’s a combination of celebrating Spring (although spring doesn’t come to Arkalyk for another month or so) and also the New Year (I have no idea how their calendar works, but I’m guessing it must be tied to the equinox and solstice).

We went to the big celebration in the town square today, it was very crowded and pretty cool. Lots of Kazakh music and dancing, food, private “sponsored” Yurts, and games including relay races, tug of war, arm wrestling, etc. After this we went to Hassim’s house, the local social worker and enjoyed a traditional holiday lunch with Zhana, our coordinator and Rustum, her 11 year old son, Galena, our translator, Hassim and Akbote, her 6 year old daughter, Shelly, the only other adoptive mom here at this time, and one other woman who’s name I didn’t catch. It was a very nice afternoon, everyone had a lot of fun.

We finally had our first Russian Vodka, many shots, but even that couldn’t get me to enjoy the horse meat that is the Kazakhstan specialty that they served. Yes, they really do eat horse meat and enjoy it. I tried it, Lynne and Jaden wouldn’t go near it. Maybe its just the concept, but I couldn’t do more than a fork-full. This was a sausage variety, it was salty and hard for me to stomach. Shelly has been here a few times and swears she loves horsemeat. All the more strange in that she says she used to be a vegan. After the main meal, there was a very short and simple Islamic prayer, then dancing. Hassim’s six year old daughter did some fantastic traditional dances in costume, really very cute. Then more vodka and dessert.

So anyway, we’re in a bit of a waiting period. We have not received permission to go back to the orphanage, and we are trying to decide if we want to get out of here for a few weeks to go somewhere, anywhere… and again – if we’re not going to stay straight through the bonding period, we don’t want to start visiting Tuma until April 12. We’re going to come to a decision, and hope the orphanage will as well, but that won’t happen until after the holiday – Sunday 3/25.


Other random thoughts from the trip so far:

When we walk around town, we get a lot of strange looks. Is it Lynne and Jaden’s blonde hair? Is it the fact that we are some of the very few people here wearing sunglasses? (its been very sunny) Is it just that our facial features are different than what they are used to? I don’t know what it is, but we get a lot of stares. On the other hand, I keep looking at all of the boys and men and wonder what my son will look like when he grows up. We think he’s all, or mostly, Kazakh, so I look into the faces of the Kazakh boys and men here and try to picture him in the future. I think about that all the time. I look at Jaden, and for sure, he doesn’t look much like me either (except his brown eyes), but he does look a lot like his beautiful mother. When I look at Tuma, I wonder about his future. Will he suffer from prejudice when he gets back to the States? Will he be the one getting stared at? Will our family get stared at because we have this son that doesn’t look like us? We’ll take on one of Jaden’s favorite phrases, “who cares!” if that happens. At least in Boulder, international adoption is so prevalent we probably won’t stick out too much.

Jaden has been such a trooper on this whole trip. He made a friend the first day with Zhana’s 9 year old son Darchon and he is simply going with the flow. This has to be hard for him, there’s just so little to do. But he’s happy playing games, doing some school work, playing with his new friend, and getting to spend a lot of time with Lynne and I. He says the funniest things. Some of the funniest lines will be posted on his blog soon, so check it out.

Its so hard to be 3 blocks from Tuma and not be visiting him. The orphanage is the only world he’s ever known, (he got there when he was 8 days old), so he is comfortable there. But the sooner we can get him out of there, the better. It feels so unfair to be celebrating Naurez today for example, and drinking and laughing, when he is trapped in that place without us.

This town is stuck in a time warp. Some of the people seem happy and fine with their existence, especially once you meet them, but walking around, we see so many blank stares and unhappy faces. There really is so little to do. We always see groups of older boys and men just standing around talking and smoking cigarettes. The women stand around and talk some as well, but it seems like they are busier shopping in the tiny grocery stores, preparing meals and doing housework all day. These people are 15 hours by train to the nearest city, and then a long flight to anywhere. Based on pay scales, taking a flight out of the country is only accessible to the top tier of the economy. I’m not sure how big that top tier is, but I assume very limited. So the people are pretty stuck here, and in many ways don’t seem to mind, because its where their family is, and it’s the only place they know. But it has to get wearing to have so few options for entertainment of any kind, have the government control your heating (and keeping it too hot!), and have the brutal weather that they have where winter lasts from about October through April, then mud season, than very hot from about June through August/September. Pretty much no Spring and no Fall. We’ve been lucky with the weather so far, the last few days have been sunny and nice. I think the worst of the cold days are beyond us.

The buildings are falling apart both inside and out. It doesn’t seem like there’s been any maintainance for a long time, and we don’t see any happening. On the outside, there are many broken windows, falling plaster and holes in walls. On the inside, leaky pipes, damaged floors and other things that will continue to get worse. Will anyone ever work on re-modeling apartments in this town? I don’t think so. More than half of the city was actually shut down about 12 years ago or so. How did they do that? Did people just get a knock on the door one day from a police officer saying they had to move by such and such a date? Lynne mentioned that perhaps once the buildings that people are living in begin to literally fall apart, people can abandon these and move back into the closed down neighborhoods. Not a bad idea…

Its mud season now (although no mud yet, just slush). Its been pretty warn, probably lower 40’s in the day and sunny. So the snow melts during the day and the streets become huge slushy messes. The cars (no SUV’s) just make their way around, almost floating at times. Then it freezes at night and everything gets icy again. Pretty much like spring skiing conditions, except there is no mountain, no grooming and no skis. Imagine the bottom of Vail (if you’ve been there in there in the spring) when it gets really slushy at the end of a late March day. So slushy you feel like you’re waterskiing to the base lodge. That’s what all the roads are like right now.

We’ve been very well taken care of. We have a cook, Barcha, who comes every day to cook and clean up. Three meals a day, good but not a lot of variety. Breakfast has been some kind of oatmeal every day (all varieties have been great), and either French toast, eggs or some other type of pancake type things. They drink tea at all meals, but I’m glad I brought 3 pounds of good coffee with me and a mini French press. That makes my mornings. Lunch and dinner always feature pasta and meat. Round pasta, long skinny pasta, short skinny pasta, with beef, with chicken, with meatballs. Soups are basically the same – pasta and chicken or pasta and beef. We recently asked for some fruits and vegetables and all of a sudden we have a bowl full of apples, oranges and bananas and a plate of dried apricots and raisins as well as a plate of cucumbers and tomatoes on the table. Bacha cleans up after every meal, and won’t let us help. We really couldn’t ask for people who are more caring or more committed to getting these kids adopted out of the orphanage than Habiba and her team of “sisters”. They have been very, very good to us, which is good, because we’re here for a long time…

That’s it for now, hopefully next time I post it will be to talk about Tuma.

Peace,

Out,

Bruce