The plane truth

OK, most of you know us well enough to know that punctuality is not our strong suit. But we have other qualities…. Anyway, we were really, really organized for this trip, I swear. Somehow, getting out the door turned into a massive time crunch anyway. My parents were taking us to the airport (thanks guys!) and maintained lots of good nature and equilibrium, but Jaden spent 20 minutes going in and out the front door yelling “All passengers in the car, last call for passengers!” and variations at the top of his lungs. Given that Bruce and I both had a couple of late nights, this did nothing to help my focus. Bruce has been working hard to wrap up job stuff before this trip, so wasn’t too involved with the preparations and working out what to take. He kicked into trip mode Thursday night, and spent the final 48 hours saying things like “did you pack underwear for Jaden?” (I did), and “do you think we should take XXX?” (I’ve thought of nothing else for weeks, dear…). 33 minutes past our anticipated departure, we finally rolled out of the driveway.

All in all, while not an auspicious start to our journey, things have gone pretty well. After mechanical problems in Denver delayed us by an hour and a half, we made our flight to London with three minutes to spare, according to the nerve calming countdown timer on the board at the counter. Jaden bounced off whatever he was near all day, and enormously enjoyed the Business class amenities we shelled out all those FF miles for. He informed us that next time he wants to fly first class so he can check it out. Of course, this is the same kid that told us the other day that he's decided he wants his hair in dreadlocks cause they are cool, and that he would be happy if we adopted THREE siblings for him if that have that many kids, not just one. I am not quite sure what to make of him at the moment. He is suddenly half grown up, with a purpose of his own and intent on being 'big'. And the next moment, he's 'decompressing' by throwing a major tantrum coming off the S-Bahn in Berlin because he wants to ‘be the leader’.

We have had a great week in Berlin. It is a really fabulous city. We did a tour of the sights- Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag, Checkpoint Charlie, etc. We also visited the Jewish museum and the new memorial to the Shoah. Jaden and I went to the Zoo, the Aquarium, the Kaiser Wilhelm church, the 2nd tallest TV tower in Europe, and the German Technology Museum. An interesting combination of powerful history and the ordinary. Some sobering moments.

(Shoah memorial)

(Kaiser Wilhelm Church- or what's left of it after the war)

(So many interesting things to see from the TV tower- the second tallest in Europe in fact! Especially what's inside the heating vents.... yes, that's really what he's doing!)

Jaden has been a bit jet-lagged. Somehow, keeping him out until midnight every night doesn’t seem to be helping. Did we read the wrong “how-to” book? Generally pretty jolly though, as he has spent a considerable amount of time singing at the top of his lungs in the streets. Several Mandarin and Spanish songs, along with his impressions of what German and French sound like. Not something one sees the average German child doing. I did our first load of bathtub laundry today, turning our bathroom into a third-world street scene. And Birgit, one of our much-loved former au pairs came to Berlin to hang with us for a few days. Although Jaden doesn’t remember her in a way he can verbalize, their connection proved that memories are deeper than the conscious mind.

How does all this juxtapose against that into which we are headed? Today was my birthday, tomorrow is Bruce’s. The shifting of the years seems inconsequential except as it measures against bringing home a child. Then it seems to place a sense of urgency upon us. We have waited long enough, and yet, will we ever really be ready? Is anyone ever ready despite what they bring themselves to believe? I tell people who ask this question of us, “Are you ready?”, the same thing. When we were awaiting Jaden friends who had gone into parenthood before us would say “It’s going to change your life”. We would look at them as if they had uttered something as obvious as ‘Chocolate is good’. Of course it is. What fools did they take us for? And then the child arrived. “Ah…” we thought. “This is what they meant”. Never could we have conceived of the enormity, despite what we thought we knew, despite how ‘ready’ we were.

Our coordinator told us last week that they expect to have two little boys who will be eligible for adoption when we arrive in Arkalyk. One is two years old, the other three. Then she asked today whether we might want a baby. They have two baby boys. Yikes. What a roller coaster ride I expect this next week will be. Tomorrow we leave Berlin. But it is deeper, as we have spent the week with the wonderfully supportive people Bruce works with, still connected to our larger community in a tangible way. And tomorrow we leave behind the last familiar face and go forward on our own. Only not entirely, as we know that you are all only a post away from us….